Dating: Old School- New School

By Sue Ann Truitt Posted: February 27th, 2012



As the February cupid shoots his red arrow, hearts become more romantically inclined. Thoughts emerge of those one might like to see again, someone to ask to dinner, or to agree to go on that blind date your friend has wanted to arrange. Dating as we know today has changed so dramatically in the last 100 years. To think of a gentleman and a lady meeting during that era led to Holt’s Encyclopedia of Etiquette,1923. The chapter “Bachelor Hospitalities” gave insight into the social life of a single person. To meet a young lady, a man might give a Bachelor’s Tea or Dinner. Having ladies among his guests, he would select a married woman to be the chaperone of the occasion. He must not invite this woman without her husband. When this lady stood at the end of the dinner, all of the lady guests were to follow her out of the room leaving the gentlemen behind. At a Tea Party, the lady guests would watch the chaperone. When she would leave the party, all the other single ladies would leave at the same time. Dating etiquette and social occasions have certainly come a long way in the last 100 years.


In those occasions of today, the rules have greatly relaxed. Nevertheless, certain dating etiquette is important to help build a more successful experience. Dating is about two people coming together to get to know one another. Communication leads to compatibility which could eventually form a close bond or relationship. During this process, there are important guidelines to remember:


• Dating should be fun and is the responsibility of both parties to see that it is.


• The time spent together should be enjoyable.


• Give your date as much attention as possible. Make the other person feel important.


• Be courteous and complimentary.


• Always be on time for the date. If delayed, contact the person immediately with an explanation.


• Never try to impress your date by bragging or being extravagant.


• In early stages, avoid possible controversial subjects such as religion or politics.


• Never argue or act rudely to anyone during the date.


• Be a good listener as well as a conversationalist. Do not talk about yourself constantly.


• On a planned date, do not dress in a shabby or extravagant manner. The way you dress speaks volumes about you as a person.


• Never lie to your date. The truth will eventually come out.


• Be considerate and a polite, responsible person whether your date is the one of your dreams or someone with whom you have little in common.


These dating guidelines are actually social “niceties” and should be followed whether you are having lunch with a friend or having dinner with your significant other. Those who can count the most number of friends are those who remember and practice the adage that “Good Manners never go out of Style”.

 


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