By Buffy Lawson
I have never been an avid reader of self-help books. Not something ‘that I should particularly brag about, considering the amount of blundered romantic relationships I have found myself in throughout many years. Same goes for highly analyzed statistical charts, “how to find the one” lists, or mothers well intended advice.
Granted, all of these individual resources can provide excellent information. However, in my opinion, when it comes to matters of the heart and how to best understand the most difficult, intimate human interactions, it takes a village. A perfectly imperfect crazy little host of honest, brilliant, broken, inspired, nutty, fabulous, liberal, conservative, female perspectives voicing real experiences.
Girls Night Out doesn’t necessarily have to occur in the evening during happy hour, (however this comes highly recommended by many CEOS of GNO). It can also be quite effective over coffee and scrambled eggs, after bible study or book club meetings. The point is, women coming together on a regular basis in a mutual, centralized atmosphere can provide support simply from being heard. Or at the least, having a blast trying.
Typically, no woman in any form of a GNO encounter is in the identical situation. Likely in a group scenario, the circle will be a random assortment of ladies; single, married, dating, codependent, insanely dependent, overly optimistic, deeply jaded, or sweetly naive. Much like baking the most delicious batch of jambalaya—it takes all of the flavors blending together to make the perfect pot.
Because the real secret is – there is no secret! The answer is – there is no answer! We are each left with our own personal truths, which probably reside somewhere right smack dab in the middle of all the chaotic madness of a massive variety of girlfriend perspectives.
Women are incredibly complicated, vastly brilliant goddesses of the earth. We can be our most authentic selves when surrounded by other flawed, human women who are comfortable sharing their stories without judgment.
I was recently at a GNO and the following events were simultaneously occurring: Marsha announced she was finally getting married to Tom. Teresa suspected her husband of fifteen years was having an affair. Lynne was having an affair with her sisters best friends’ uncle. Sandy was announcing that she would begin picketing, using her voice for gay marriage rights. Tanya, a single mom, just adopted a baby from Asia and Paula and her husband just celebrated twenty-five years as husband and wife.
We laughed, cried, analyzed, laughed more, cried more…analyzed more.
When it was all said and done, cabs were called and checks paid up. I just smiled. Another successful girls night out. Still no secret – still no answers. Even after all of the analysis, laughter, and tears. But what we all take away from our special time together as women, is that although none of our lives are exactly the same, we are all in this together. We are no longer defined by having to be married or even in a relationship to be considered complete, successful or happy. We are a perfectly imperfect tribe of ladies who thrive and grow in each other’s company. GNO! You’ll never have more fun searching for those secrets and answers.