One thing is for certain, it’s better to be a healthy single person than to be in a lousy, no good dead-beat relationship. And chances are for many of us—just as the old saying goes—many frogs will likely be kissed before finding prince or princess charming. I have a dear friend that can surely testify to that. Going to girls night out with her is always hilarious because, bless her heart, she has kissed her share of some downright bizarre frogs; and hearing her stories is always entertaining over a margarita. Thankfully, her sense of humor is fabulous.
This precious woman realized that over the past several years, she had become complacent in the world of dating. She noted that with each passing moment, her independence was unwavering and she was admittedly having a hard time imagining having to make the compromises necessary for a productive relationship. But, one evening during happy hour she declared a jovial, “What the heck!!!” She decided to make a genuine attempt to meet somebody nice.
With the help of Jose Cuervo, we jotted down a list of basic criteria on a cocktail napkin:
1. I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR A BONE-HEAD. She was under no illusions of expecting to gaze into the dreamy eyes of Brad Pitt, however is now wise enough to realize that expecting perfection would not land the perfect partner for her.
2. I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR A COUCH SURFER. This person is not allowed to still be living with the parents.
3. I WILL NOT SETTLE FOR A CHAUVINISTIC PIG. This person needs to respect her and women in general.
This seemed like a good start to both of us. We discussed the fact that the quickest way to jumpstart the process was to try out an online dating service, so I helped her create her profile and we pushed the final button to place her lovely face out there into the sea of love. We would meet at our usual spot the following week to discuss the progress.
That following Thursday I showed up at our favorite booth promptly at 5:30. A few moments later she walked in and joined me. “Well????” I begged in anticipation of her answer. “Well…I had this one guy who’s profile seemed great. After chatting online for a while, I agreed to give him my phone number and we began talking. Seemed nice enough. UNTIL he shared that he was seeking counseling for some EXTREMELY SERIOUS anger management issues.” “But nobody’s perfect right?” he uttered. CLICK.
“I was then drawn to another guy. Again, his profile looked great! I did not give him my number feeling more cautious this time. In our chatting, he revealed to me that he was so proud of himself. Said he had recently quit drinking because of a PRETTY MAJOR drinking problem. He was finally sober! When I asked him how long he had been sober, he proceeded to tell me enthusiastically ‘TWO DAYS! Isn’t that great!’” GULP.
“Then another guy confided he had low blood pressure, therefore low sex drive, but that he loves going for long romantic afternoon fishing trips instead. The next one shared that he did want to warn me that he has one lazy eye and that it can be distracting…trying to figure out which one to look into, but that most people get used to it.”
“So yeah, it went FANTASTIC!” she said with one eyebrow shooting up. “At this point, Mister Wonderful is going to have to literally fall straight out of the sky crashing through my ceiling. It was a nice try, but I do like my life just fine, thank you very much.”
About that time our waitress brought a margarita and sat it in front of my friend. “This is from the man in that booth,” the waitress said pointing to a VERY nice looking fellow. The man shyly smiled at her, kindly waving. “Well, well, well!” I said. My friend smiled and raised her drink as a thankful air toast. Now, I am not a witch or a fortuneteller…but I do know something about electricity. And those two people had it. Who knows? This just could be her prince charming…or at least a damn good-looking frog.